“Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of a life well lived.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes I am fulfilled, sometimes not. I am sure most people experience this. Those moments when you believe you are doing what you were put on this planet to do and those where you are awash, lost.

New Year is a good time to take stock. It is a time to look at what we accomplished the previous year. It is a time to choose who we want to be and what we want to achieve in the following year. This year has been a particularly thoughtful one for me. Time for some disclosure. Divorce is still a recent and raw experience and since last summer Cai has been living with me. Currently, I am pondering the balance required to meet Cai’s adolescent needs as well as my own. I am figuring out how to re-find the parts of me that I enjoyed and lost during the compromise of a relationship. I am considering the chaos of the last two plus years and working out what a good year looks like for us. I am contemplating the air steward dictum of placing the oxygen mask on my own face first. I am ruminating on being brave and jumping into a new venture. One where I am fulfilled by using and sharing my unique experiences to help others on their journey. To do this I have to leave the security of what I am currently doing and know. I am realizing the work required to walk my talk and do the things I know I want to. I am, in short trying to figure out how I find the best path to the best outcome.

“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Andre Gide

I talk about adventure. I am quick to share my thoughts on uncertainty. I know the value of putting myself out there. The reality though is that these muscles are not as well exercised as they once were. I buried myself in a relationship and parenthood and lost sight of who I am; someone happy to “lose sight of the shore”. The good news is that hope can be elevated by thinking of past successful experiences. So now I have to remind myself of who I once was and how I made amazing things happen by being courageous.

New Year is a wonderful time to think about all this. There are lots of prompts to do it and lots of inspiring books, blogs and YouTube channels to help. By changing one or two habits, it becomes easier to change others. The piece I hold on to is that I have reinvented myself many times before. I have completed large challenges that I have set for myself. I also know how good it feels when I do this. Starting with why always makes it easier.

What is it we are questing for? It is the fulfillment of that which is potential in each of us. Questing for it is not an ego trip; it is an adventure to bring into fulfillment your gift to the world, which is yourself. There is nothing you can do that's more important than being fulfilled. You become a sign, you become a signal, transparent to transcendence; in this way you will find, live, become a realization of your own personal myth.

Joseph Campbell, Pathways to Bliss: Mythology and Personal Transformation

So how are you going to reinvent yourself this year? How are you going to be the best you? How are you going to find your fulfillment and the resultant happiness?