Kimberly's Memorial Pt 2: Making the Most of Sad Situations & Seeing the Light in the World
It has been a long time since Cai was in kindergarten; the lessons absorbed there are amongst the most important and, unfortunately, quickly forgotten. Suppose, at times, we all saw life through the eyes of a young child. In that case, I have a sneaking suspicion we would be a lot happier. With careful guidance, harmony might reign. It is good to leave the regular grind of my modern, suburban existence and have this reminder.
On Thursday night Cai and I surrounded ourselves with people and a beautiful urban landscape to remember Cai’s mother, Kimberly. As the sun followed its daily trajectory and slipped quietly from the sky, it cast a red and golden light over the expanse of water in front of us. A silhouette of jagged peaks was etched on the skyline, and the first snows of the year caught some of the last rays of light and transformed them into colorful refractions. The serenity and pulchritude of the moment were not lost on the audience.
Death has a habit of prompting deep thought. Kimberly’s has been no different. Watching the faces of those who accompanied us that evening, it was evident that their wearers were processing many feelings and thoughts. It is both sad and beautiful to witness. So the questions for me become, how do I allow this rawness into my life more often? Can I take it and translate it into actions and behaviors that make the world around me a better place and positively impact the people within it?
Kimberly collected an eclectic band of friends and family. Cai and I worried about how to bring this raggle-taggle group together in a way that avoided drama. Let’s be honest, raw emotions do not always promote good behavior. Nevertheless, it was truly inspired to breathe new life into something from his kindergarten experience. The parent of one of Kimberly’s little people reminded me that the lantern walk is a festival that exists for three years in a Waldorf child’s school journey. It is both impermanent and exquisite, and this is part of what makes it so intense. Last night was powerful. By bringing people together in the spirit of a Waldorf kindergarten, not only was a space held to remember Kimberly, something even more potent occurred. We live in a world where we are encouraged to drive a wedge between those that do not see things through the same lens as we do. We become polarized. By putting this aside and meditating on sharing and spreading love, we bring joy to everyone around us and beyond. By seeing the beauty in our shared experience and world and looking for the commonalities rather than differences, we stand a chance of genuinely making our existence better. By allowing ourselves to stop and feel the magnificence of nature, we know we have to protect it.
In the same way that when I wake up, I can listen to the traffic, sirens, and construction, or focus on the birds singing and the squirrels scuttling through the trees. I also have the choice of looking for differences or commonalities. Even when the world seems hell-bent on hitting the self-destruct button. I still have that choice. Last night was a tangible reminder of the power of making sure the beauty in our world and the people who wander it are authentic and worthwhile.
The other theme that stood out is that simplicity often has more impact than over-engineering a situation. Our little memorial did not require a lot to create. There was no grand gesture, no requirement of wealth or stuff. We just asked everyone to make/bring their own lantern. The collective power of many people making a small gesture was far more commanding than a few of us organizing something lavish. We can all make something hugely beautiful; we can all make a big statement. All that is required is good intention and the collaborative involvement of a group of people. All that this needs is for a vision to be shared and understood. This is the way of a well-held kindergarten.
Kimberly had a deep-seated need to protect and nurture little people, both as a mother and a kindergarten teacher. It strikes me that what she did daily in a Waldorf school is needed in our world more than ever.